Twisted Humor

Now THIS is funny (twisted, but funny):

Thanks, Shoog, for that giggle!

The One With The Favors

Would you take a freakin' look at what arrived in the mail on Tuesday...the first post-2nd-birthday-party-day that the mail ran.


Not that I am peeved about this or anything...but here were the perfect cupcake party themed favors. Vanilla cupcake scented bath bombs. Bummer!

Also, Alex will be the lucky recipient of a "good sales score." I tend to be a shopper. I tend call it retail therapy. Most of the time it works out. Like the last time I was in Wheeling, Reid was saying that he wanted some kind of shelving thing for the bathroom. When I was looking in the attic for things a little bit ago to send up with Erin tomorrow night, what did I find but a small little bathroom shelf made just for that purpose. I got it at Target on clearance...more than a year ago. It was a good deal and you never know when you are going to need something like that.

But back to Alex...and the attic which is fill with all sorts of stuff. I just stumbled upon two onesies (one plain red, the other one Alex probably wouldn't want...unless Anne & Sean become very adept at Photo Shop to change the coloring of the lavender and hot pink stripes) and a pair of jeans - all size 18-24 months. Elizabeth could likely wear them...ONCE, but I just don't see the need to wash them for that one time wear. So, lucky Alex will inherit one pair of brand-spanking new jeans and a new red onesie.

What will I learn from this little tale...to squirrel my sales scores in a more obvious place.

Elizabeth can...

• Count to 10
• Scream for 'Ginia - wanting the Pride of West Virginia, the Mountaineer Marching Band CD to play the pregame nonstop while we're in the car
• blow bubbles in the bathtub (been doing this for a while) - she also drinks her bath water, so I'm not thinking that Mensa will be granting her early admissions
• blow kisses
• sign lots of words - bubbles, cheese, cracker, apple, more, eat, drink, water, milk, hurt, please, funny, silly, drink, hat, sit, all gone, baby, sleep, shirt, time out (at least a 30-second time out), spider, little, big, off, on, monkey, pear, tree, sing, flag, hear, fish, UP, down, in, out, bear, jacket, pants, ball, table, hot, cold, read, Daddy, Mommy, help, brush (teeth), comb, thank you, cat, dog, where is, new, diaper, bath, share (she can sign it - doubtful that she will DO it), deer, strong, bottle, lamb, spoon, bread, orange, car, go, stop, ice cream, bacon, ...
• tell you that she loves you, she's sorry, she's missed you, she likes it, she is happy to see you, to wait - all when she feels like it
• can mostly sing the ABC song - usually needs you to sing along, too (unlike counting to 10 which she can do unassisted)
• stacks 10 blocks up on top
• jump
• help cook or bake - she likes to lick the bowl before most of the cake has been mixed, so speaking from experience, I would make sure the eggs are fully integrated before seeking her help
• put some shapes in her shape sorter or with her Melissa & Doug puzzles
• she can speak in full thoughts - sentences

Our baby girl is becoming more of a little girl and less of a baby...she is truly amazing!

Anyone care for a cupcake?

What a great time we had at Elizabeth's party! She was an absolute angel - and didn't take a nap all day. (She nearly fell asleep drinking her milk at dinner, shortly before 7:00, so Reid & I helped her take a long bath. She held off sleep until just shortly after 9:00...and slept VERY soundly through the night.)

She got so much fun stuff - it's impossible to say if she has even a few favorites. (I can tell you, though, if you are in the market to buy bubbles, Gymboree is the place to go. There were still bubbles on our fireplace screen this morning from yesterday evening.)

The party started at 2:00, typically smack-dab in the middle of Elizabeth's nap time. Guests included: Grandma & Papi, Nana & Papa, Uncle Larry, Mommy's sister in Christ - Erin Jones, and Stephanie & Hayden Jones (no relation to the previous Jones).

We ate some of Elizabeth's favorites (and some things that she keeps trying to eat, but puts back in the container): pizza rolls, mozzarella sticks, cheese, veggies (what she isn't a fan of yet - too much chewing), bagel chips with spinach & artichoke dip, chips, rainbow colored Goldfish crackers (that Erin says look like Kennedy's Kibbles & Bits), lemonade, cupcakes, and ice cream. No one wanted any of the birthday cake that I made from SCRATCH, but no worries, my Martha ego isn't bruised. At least the good folks at AACE are chowing down on it today! Elizabeth completely gets this from my Aunt Cathy, her Aunt Anne, and me - the LOVE of icing...cake is merely the vessel...

Some of Elizabeth's favorite gifts include: Snow White dress up outfit (including hooker shoes and a tiara - very nice!), a cash register and her very own pile of money, the coolest bubbles ever (okay, that might be one of my favorites, too!), her very own digital camera, a Dora tent (that we can't wait to play in at our home in West Liberty!) and Dora's backpack filled with all sorts of fun stuff like Fun Flossers (all right, maybe not ALL of the stuff in the backpack was super cool in Elizabeth's eyes - go here to see and/or purchase a set of these flossers for yourself:

http://www.drugstore.com/qxp148963_333181_sespider/dentek/fun_flossers.htm), wooden magnetic dress up dolls (like old-school paper dolls) and wooden puzzles, books, Magna Doodles (plural), and a talking vacuum so she can "clean, clean, clean" (at least one of us will be willing to clean!)

Martha Stewart has nothing on me! My Daddy's reaction must mean that I really know how to throw one heck of a party!

Party Day!

Elizabeth's party is today. She's waaaaaaay excited. Squealing at decibels that has surprised me that the windows haven't cracked. She's already burst two helium balloons - and we're still a little over two hours away from party time.

Part of the party favors didn't get here in time for the party. Not that anyone else but me will know the difference, but it has made me a little cranky with this slow shipper from Ebay. Bath bombs that are shaped and smell like vanilla cupcakes would have just been too perfect. Now I guess I'm going to be stuck with bath bombs that I won't use...or Grandma (who does enjoy a bath) can get her skin all soft and yummy vanilla cupcake scented. I'm sure they will arrive on Tuesday (Monday is MLK Day so no mail service.) Bummer.

I'm off to shower and get ready...so I can then get soaked as I give Elizabeth her bath...

More later...

Birthday stories

Elizabeth got a lot of wonderful things for her birthday - and she hasn't even had her cupcake party yet!

She got a quilt, some DVDs, lots of books, some clothes, bathtub whistles that we had to pry out of Papi's hand because of the amount of fun he was having with it, lots of Dora stuff, a baby doll with a paci that E wants to put in her mouth, and some clothes. We ate salad, lasagna, cake, and ice cream.

Funny - Grandma was showing Elizabeth how to blow on the party blowouts (not horns, but the paper curly things). Elizabeth then decided that it would be a fun, yet serious game, to catch the paper end in her mouth as Grandma blew it out. Grandma could not really keep from laughing, but she lasted a few rounds. Then Elizabeth turned to Nana to see if she could do the game. Nana was still laughing from Grandma's round, so she didn't make it as long as Grandma. After that, Elizabeth made sure that I had a blowout and she instructed the three of us to blow our blowouts at the same time (not to continue the game but to just get us to do what she wanted.) Elizabeth got so tickled that she LITERALLY fell to the floor and was pounding the floor. What a hoot!

This morning I was greeted in the most wonderful of ways. When I woke Elizabeth up to get her ready for her 2 year check up appointment with Dr. Steele, she gave me the biggest hug and said, "Oh Mommy, I'm so happy to see you."

According to Dr. Steele, she looks great. She is 34.5" long and weighs 26 lbs, 12 oz. (If you're looking to buy her a fitted ball cap, her noggin is 19".) That puts her between the 75th - 90th percentile in height...and between the 25th - 50th percentile in weight...despite having cake this morning for breakfast!

Happy Birthday, Elizabeth!!!

I can't believe my baby girl is TWO years old! Oh my!!!

Reid surprised us by coming home yesterday evening! He was there when we pulled in the driveway. Elizabeth saw his Explorer and squealed, "Oh boy! Daddy's home!" I know it did them both a lot of good to spend the evening together! Elizabeth was so excited for Reid to be home she played really, really hard. Then she was in sleep mode before she even did a bottle! Now that is a switch from earlier this week! (On Monday, I flung her in the pack & play, put on some cartoons, and crashed...after midnight. I couldn't last any longer! On Tuesday, she woke up at 3 AM saying, "Hi, Mommy." (Thankfully fell back asleep somewhat quickly...after I brought her into bed with me.) But last night, she "helped" me make lasagna for tonight's dinner, licked a spatula from the reduced sugar cupcakes I was baking, and nearly fell asleep in her high chair!) It does us both a lot of good to have Reid home!!!

Speaking of which...pray for safe travels as Reid goes to Shepherd to broadcast tonight's game. The Weather Channel is predicting 4-6 inches in that neck of the woods for today (and goodness only knows what for the areas in-between...Garrett County, MD...) The team may be staying the night...Reid, too, if it doesn't look good. And although they aren't coming from as far a distance as Reid travels tonight, pray for Grandma & Papi as they are planning to come up to the Friendly City of Fairmont for Elizabeth's birthday.

Plans are coming together quite nicely for her party on Sunday. Her birthday party (cupcake) outfit FINALLY arrived from Gymboree! (Via horse coach, I believe, but it arrived nonetheless.) I am still awaiting part of the party favors (an EBay score) and Kennedy's collar (another EBay find)...and I need to find the clippy things so I don't have to hand tie the helium balloons - that was a pain in the neck (or fingers) this morning! Ugh.

Happy Birthday Elizabeth!!!! Mama & Daddy love you (and Kennedy tolerates you...so long as you aren't pulling her tail)!!!

Sign of the times?

It snowed on Monday evening covering the ground by 1+ inches. Elizabeth loves the snow, so I dressed her in her snow boots so she could walk in the snow just the few steps to the car and from the car into Nana & Papa's house. On the drive to Nana & Papa's, I heard her say, "mmmmm" as she often does when she is eating something yummy. I turned around to see her picking the snow from her boots, eating it, and then saying, "mmmm, yummy." I told her to stop eating the snow from her boots and that it was yucky. Elizabeth replied, "I can't help it, Mommy." And then she took another bite.

I can't believe she turns 2 tomorrow!!!!

Good joke day

Today, I received two funnies via email that actually made me giggle...this is not typically the case as I tend to receive a whole bunch of stuff that I have seen before...and that didn't make me laugh the first time around. Anyway, I had to share these two - the first from my Mom, the 2nd from one of my AACE amigos, Todd:

God asks Joe Paterno first: "What do you believe?" Joe thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans." God can't help but see the essential goodness of Paterno, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Tom Osborne and says, "What do you believe?" Tom says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields." God is greatly moved by Tom's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Rich Rodriquez: "And you, Rich, what do you believe?" Rich replies, "I believe you're in my seat."

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A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk answers, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits' end and dunks the drunk in the water again -- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs, he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

Watch out!

I'm so far behind I'm skipping Christmas. Elizabeth saw all of her family (including Steve, Jessica, Grace, and Emily!) and got more toys than a little girl could hope for. (Mama is still working on those thank you notes...)

I just (finally) received the birthday party invites in the mail yesterday evening and put them in the mail to family this morning...so watch out! I can't believe that Elizabeth is almost TWO!!! (If you're at a complete loss for what to buy for her...not that she NEEDS anything...I have a Kaboodle birthday list for her.)

She finally cut her two upper eye-teeth. I think the bottom ones are coming soon (but I've been thinking that for a while now...especially since she had to go to the doctor before Christmas to treat the diaper rash that was brought on from the teething...) She's growing up so fast!!!

Her phrase for this weekend was "Mommy/Daddy, I promise." (We're not sure what she was promising, but we could be in a heap of trouble I fear!)

Reid puts in his first full week at West Liberty this week. E & I are planning a trip up to Wheeling this weekend.